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“Hello?”
“Hey Dad. It’s Jack.”
“Well hey there. How is everything? Everything alright?”
Jack is taken back by the warmth in his father’s voice. “Yeah,
I’m doing good.
You?”
“Been busy, been busy. Got my hands full.”
Jack can’t let his guard down. “That’s good. So are
you working on the basement or reading anything?”
“Why don’t we just talk about this business you’ve fallen
into.”
Jack nervously starts, “I need some money dad, maybe forty thousand
dollars.”
“Since the settlement you know that isn’t a problem.”
“It isn’t?”
“If you think you need it I’ll give you whatever I can. Now
what’s this about.”
“It’s for some clubs. I have to start golfing. Do you know
anything about golf?”
“Never much liked it to tell you the truth. Waste of land. Tell
you what, first day just sit yourself out in the driving range for a few
good hours. Find a caddie who looks old and overworked. That’s where
I’d start.“
Jack still can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Thanks
Dad. I think I’ll try that.”
“Where do I send this money?”
“You can just wire it into my account.”
Laughing quietly to himself he says, “I was gonna send you a check.
Well, I ought to let you go honey, I’ll get that in your account
before the bank closes tomorrow. It’s good to hear from you.”
“Love you Dad.”
“Love you too son.”
“Keep busy Dad.”
“I will.”
Mr. Shoemaker hangs up the phone and takes a look a round what used to
be his living room but is now a small piece of a very large construction
site. Mr. Shoemaker has been very busy indeed.
It was divine inspiration itself, and in this case it is necessary to
elaborate:
You see one night not three weeks ago, Sidney was passed out in his easy
chair watching a FOX up-all-night marathon of “X-Files” on
his eighteen-inch Sony television. He was upset about his wife and Jack
and the sleepless nights had done nothing to improve his lower back problems.
His bathrobe was a map of the inner emotional struggle marked with the
stains of condiments and self-pity. A dwindling bottle of whisky nervously
hung from his unconscious fingers and fearfully watched Mulder wind up
with nothing, again.
Sidney slept there like a pile of dented beer cans for nearly an hour
until he heard his bottle hit the floor.
A sudden crack of thunder immersed him in the pellet-pounding sound of
rain driving against the living room windows. That’s when he heard
a voice shake the house.
“SIDNEY SHOEMAKER!”
He looked frantically around him for the source of the intrusion but found
nothing disturbed.
“YOU CAN STOP LOOKING FOR ME. I AM EVERYWHERE!”
Sidney scratched his chin and slurred a response. “Who are you?”
The voice shook the porcelain tchotchkes off the mantle. “YOU MUSTN’T
SPEAK MY NAME!”
“What are you doing here with me anyways? Don’t you know I’m
an atheist?”
“MOST OF YOU START THAT WAY. NOW, IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO DO MY IMMACULATE
WORK.”
The voice went on to tell Sidney about many important things, having to
do with the fates and lives of millions of regular people like your cousin
John, and your Aunt Sarah. A worldwide disaster was on the horizon, and
through the good Lord’s love Sidney was given a chance to sway the
outcome. He was asked to make a sacrifice.
The very weight of the situation made the man drop to his knees and weep
rivers through his trembling fingers. So moved by the sovereign duty thrusted
on his conscience, Sidney Shoemaker passionately swore an eternal oath
to complete this holy task set before him regardless of the cost to his
mortal flesh and even his very soul.
The problem was he was so drunk he forgot everything past the introductions
by morning and hadn’t the foresight to write a single thing down.
(The apple never falls far from the tree.)
And so it was he decided to take his best educated guess.
He started construction of a mighty ark in the middle of Connecticut.
[B]
BACK | NEXT
Dedication
Chapter 1 - Two Bookends
On A Couch
Chapter 2 - Battery Fluid
Chapter 3 - Whose Fuse Is The Muse
Chapter 4 - Why Widows Sing The Blues
Chapter 5 - Welcome to Sears
Chapter 6 - Fortress of Solitude
Chapter 7 - Rite of Passage
Chapter 8 - Letters of Arrival
Chapter 9 - Keeping Busy
Chapter 10 - You Can’t Teach a Gorilla
to Golf
Chapter 11 - Satellite
of Love
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