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Jack spends an entire day purchasing all the mashie niblicks and graphite
putters he can find from the most expensive shelves he can reach. Nevada
Bob’s Tennis and Golf Pro Emporium is more than happy to provide
an employee (Ted) whose uncanny knack for selecting a set of clubs for
even the most callow amateur lends a much needed guidance to Jack’s
impulse.
Ted’s knack itself is not religious by nature, but based on the
distance measured between the eyes and the ratio between arms and legs.
His favorite saying is “you can teach a bear to dance on a beach
ball, but you can’t teach a gorilla to golf.” The first half
of the joke is interchangeable, but the second remains the same.
“You can teach a dog to ride a skate board, but-“
“You can teach a parrot to count in Chinese but-”
“you can teach a dolphin to solve algebra, but-“
and so on with varying results.
Jackson loves all his permutations and follows his suggestions so well
that Ted feels obliged to throw in a new bag and a beautiful patchwork
cap from the New York Hat Co. After all, he rakes in almost two thousand
dollars from the commission alone, and people love new hats when they
start learning golf.
Jack shows up on the course with his new hat and a pair of bowling shoes
that cause him to slip on the grass like a drunk. Jack likes his cleatless
shoes because they ring a certain irony. Half of lightning-related deaths
happen on the golf course, and every one of them sounds like a strike
down the alley.
(This is where the war is fought. Remember that.)
Jack does as his father advises and finds his own spot in the driving
range. Based upon the people already swinging, he expects the object is
to hit the ball about as hard and far as you can.
He does his best to imitate the other players, and finds a stance that
almost passes for natural. Once he sufficiently loosens up, he tees the
ball and focuses his better eye.
The first shot is pathetic. His second and third are no better. Not even
a taste of the action any of these other hitters are getting.
Maybe he’s just doing something wrong. He looks down the line and
watches the another man. He watches his wrist, watches it all the way
through.
Maybe he needs to work on his wrist.
Another try and still lousy.
A woman’s voice hangs over his shoulder. “You should try the
Driver.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’ll have a little more luck with the big piece of oak
you have in that bag of yours.”
“Thanks,” Jackson is scared to look. Based on the sound of
her voice and the look of her ankles, he’s probably in for it.
She repeats herself, “Driver.”
Jack barely hears her as he rummages through unfamiliar clubs. “Hm?
Didn't quite catch that.”
“It’s the big one.”
“Sorry, It’s this damn sun. I’m used to the indoor courses.
Here it is.” Jackson lifts up the driver and gives a smile as wide
as the dry path Moses made in the Red Sea.
Jackson tees up and clocks his ball far past his contenders and watches
it bend slightly to the right on the green.
The woman holds out her hand. “Rebecca Classaou, I’m here
to watch the open. I like to come out a few days early and get used to
the heat. You?”
“Jackson Shoemaker.” Tees up another ball. “And I am
a professional golfer. You know from here on out. I think you could say
full time.”
Jack keeps his attention on the ball. He’s afraid to catch the full
glory of this girl’s presence. He has scarcely seen her during the
conversation, but receives short flashes of beauty like the reel of a
View Master that survived an attic fire.
Click: an ear lobe Click: a sloping shoulder and coil of autumn hair Click:
A smile from above Click: An eyebrow pointing below.
Her remarks are less forgiving. “You must have some serious problems.”
“I think you’re probably right.”
“See you round, Jack.”
“Sure. Say thanks again for the tip, it’s gonna be a handy
one on the circuit.”
Jack keeps his focus on the ball. He’s afraid to watch the woman
walk away.
[B]
BACK | NEXT
Dedication
Chapter 1 - Two Bookends
On A Couch
Chapter 2 - Battery Fluid
Chapter 3 - Whose Fuse Is The Muse
Chapter 4 - Why Widows Sing The Blues
Chapter 5 - Welcome to Sears
Chapter 6 - Fortress of Solitude
Chapter 7 - Rite of Passage
Chapter 8 - Letters of Arrival
Chapter 9 - Keeping Busy
Chapter 10 - You Can’t Teach
a Gorilla to Golf
Chapter 11 - Satellite
of Love
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